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DM Hell - The 7 Deadly Sins of Direct Messaging

DM’s - Direct Messages - are a game changing way of communicating with others. Everyone with a social media profile is now theoretically reachable. While this method of communication is less formal than an email, some decorum is still required, especially if you are representing your brand, and asking for something.


Let’s go through the 7 deadly sins of direct messaging, in order to to our part in making the world’s inboxes a more wholesome, respectful place…

SLOTH - Not Doing Your Research

If you’re going to be cold messaging someone that you hope will give you want you want (attention, feedback, money), do your research on who you’re talking to, and personalize the message.

Misspelling someone’s name (ex: dear Clearance), addressing them back their username (ex: dear popofcolouragency), or forgetting to address them at all (ex: dear [first name]) can be really embarrassing, especially when they correct you in their reply. Always double check the spelling, pronouns, and position of the person you’re trying to reach.

If the information you’re asking for (their email address, website URL, or submission policy for example) is clearly listed on their profile of easy to Google, Dm’ing someone of importance to ask them for this information makes you come across as a time waster at best, and the village idiot at worst. 

Don’t let your first impression be that of a time waster or the village idiot.

LUST - Flirting With A Business Account

You’d think it would be fairly obvious that sending dick pics to a business page (especially one with multiple admins) is a bad move, but judging by the inbox of every woman and semi-decent looking man on the internet, it’s not. 

I discussed and rated different strategies on warding off the un-neutered dogs of the internet in this article. Read it next if this is something you’re on the receiving end of.

GLUTTONY - Disrespecting An Expert’s Time

If you’re reaching out to an expert in your field, realize that they’re very busy, and their time is worth money. 

If you want to ask a question or get clarification on something they said, go for it! However, if you’re simply messaging them asking for help on a very long-winded, personal and specific issue, it’s probably a better move to book an hour of their time where they can focus 1-on-1 on helping you.

WRATH - Not Taking Rejection

You may get rejected. You may not get a reply right away. You may not get a reply at all. Just like any form of mass outreach, just move on to the next person, instead of obsessively checking if they’ve read your message or not, or blowing up their inbox with insults at a rejection.

GREED - Only Asking For Favours

Building relationships are a two way street. By only asking yourself what you can get out of someone, and never finding ways to help people back, you’re not setting yourself up for a strong, long lasting network.

Find ways to give back to those you connect with, be it with digital freebies, follow backs, positive comments, or initiating conversations that don’t ask them for anything.

ENVY - Resenting Someone’s Success

Scrolling on social media, you only see everyone else’s proverbial highlights reel. Your lived-in, unfiltered life includes those, as well as the behind the scenes, rehearsals, and bloopers. 

It’s hard to stop comparing yourself, especially to people doing similar things to you. So when communicating with them, always proofread messages before you send to make sure no trace of envy ever comes through.

PRIDE - Not Being Humble

Come from a place of humility. You’re the one asking for something, therefore they have the leverage in this interaction.

Colourfully Yours, 

- Clarence

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